I'm a Doctor, Not a Prostitute
by Koko Dashi
Summary: Can't Spock and McCoy just stop fighting and love each other? No. They cannot. Not even while they're in bed.


**Quick note- This is set after the TOS episode Bread and Circuses. It is not necessary to watch the episode, it's pretty self explanatory, but it really helps if you want a better idea at what happened. I put this in the movie universe cause I pictured them instead of the TOS characters. I wasn't quite sure where I was going to put this but in the end I decided here.  
**

* * *

It is not everyday you are saved by a the devil himself. It is not everyday you are later thrown in prison with said devil alone. It is not everyday the devil himself proceeds to jump your bones(no pun intended of course). It was not everyday that you realized you liked the devil. Everything from his pointed ears to his green blood to his strange Vulcan biology. It was not everyday that you realized you really, _really_ like the devil himself.

Thoughts like these kept piling up in McCoy's head causing a massive traffic jam. It did not help when he backed up into a certain (half)Vulcan whom magically appeared in his sick bay.

"What now Spock?" McCoy grumbled.

"I believe there is an important issue we must discuss," Spock replied in a very Vulcan manner.

"Then talk," McCoy instructed as he nervously went around the room checking on medical equipment that was more than likely in mint condition.

"About what happened on the planet-"

"That? I was kind of hoping we could just forget that," McCoy said as he rushed across to look at some other piece of medical equipment on the other side of the room.

"Is that really what you wish doctor?" McCoy turned to look at the First Officer standing with his arms behind his back(as usual).

"I don't know Spock, what do you think is the most 'logical' course of action?" McCoy snorted. Spock twitched at McCoy's use of the word logical. However illogical it was, Spock liked to refer to the word 'logical' as his.

"I... do not know doctor. The facts are... insufficient," Spock mustered in a professional tone.

"We had sex in a jail cell what else is there to know?" McCoy crossed his arms leaning against the wall opposite of Spock.

"I... am not yet certain if you found the action... enjoyable." The tips of Spock's ears turned a slight shade of green. McCoy stared at Spock dumbfounded. Did Spock just ask if McCoy enjoyed having sex with him in a jail cell?

"Other than the bruises on my back from being slammed against the stone ground it was... alright." McCoy turned his head away from Spock unable to look at the pointy eared bastard.

"I see. Then should we re-enact the moment in a more suitable environment?" McCoy snapped his head to stare at the serious face the Vulcan sported.

"Spock, are you asking to have sex with me?" Spock swiftly made his way over to McCoy pinning said doctor up against the wall. Spock looked down at McCoy's face which was about an inch away from his.

"I believe I said that doctor," Spock breathed out.

"Dammit Spock I'm a doctor, not a prostitute," McCoy growled trying to look anywhere but at Spock. Which failed miserably considering Spock was so close.

"So you do not wish to engage in sexual intercourse?" Spock stated with the slightest twinge of disappointment in his voice.

"I never said that you green blooded hob goblin," McCoy snapped this time looking directly at Spock. Spock studied McCoy's face intently with a breathless wonder.

"You are highly illogical doctor."

"I swear if you say that one more time I'm going to punch you in the face."

"If I remember correctly I was the one who saved your life on the planet," Spock said with a slight smile threatening to cross his face.

"Just shut up and kiss me," McCoy snarled. Spock eagerly complied.

McCoy laced his fingers through Spock's usually neat hair. Spock grabbed McCoy's thigh. McCoy wrapped his leg around Spock's waist. Soon the other leg followed successfully wrapping McCoy's legs around Spock's waist. Spock held him up by his ass, which Spock soon came to the decision that he very much liked to fondle. Spock ground his hips against McCoy.

McCoy let out a husky moan. Spock left McCoy's mouth to leave a trail of kisses along McCoy's neck. Spock nipped and sucked at any spot on McCoy's neck causing the man to whine.

Spock carried McCoy over to the nearest medical bed laying him down gently. Spock impatiently clambered on the bed looming over McCoy. McCoy grabbed at Spock bringing him down to meet his lips. McCoy let his hand's roam across Spock's body. Soon he grabbed on to the bottom of Spock's shirt. McCoy tugged upwards on Spock's shirt breaking away from their kiss only to pull Spock's shirt over his head. McCoy continued letting his hand wander across Spock's -now naked- chest.

Spock, not pleased with being the only one without a shirt, grabbed at McCoy's accidentally ripping it open in the process. McCoy broke away.

"Thank you for ripping my favorite shirt," McCoy grimaced.

"I will see to it that it is replaced," Spock said breathlessly.

"Why did you save me on the planet?" McCoy asked momentarily stopping Spock's war path on his body.

"I do not believe that is relevant at this moment." Spock said with a slight whine

"Just answer the question Spock."

"As I have previously stated, you are the Chief Medical Officer. You are an important asset to the functioning of the Enterprise."

"I could always be replaced. C'mon Spock, admit it you, you like me just a little," McCoy smirked up at Spock.

"Doctor, I am a Vulcan, Vulcan's do not-"

"I knew it, I shouldn't have asked." Spock studied McCoy's face for a while.

"I would not find a replacement... satisfactory."

"So basicly you'd miss me."

"I believe I said that doctor." Spock's lip twitched as he fought back a smile.

Spock recaptured McCoy's lips continuing his rampage on the Doctor's body. It was not until they heard the sounds of retreating footsteps they stopped. They turned their heads towards the sound.

"Should we continue this in a more private location?"

"Y'think?"

* * *

It was not everyday you walk into sick bay searching for Nurse Chapel. It was not everyday you hear strange noises from sick bay. It was not everyday you walk into sick bay to see the First Officer on top of the Chief Medical Officer. It was not everyday you ran off giggling like an idiot at the sight.

"What are you talking about now Lyta?" Chapel questioned the over excited science officer in the mess hall the next day.

"I'm saying, Doctor McCoy is Mister Spock's new girlfriend!" Lyta exclaimed a bit too loud and a bit too excited.

"What?" a surprised screech sounded from behind. A flustered McCoy stood behind her glaring down at the science officer.

"Ensign Mavis, your statement is highly illogical. Doctor McCoy is a male and therefore could not be my 'girlfriend'-"

"Thank you, Spock!"

"- I believe the proper term would be boyfriend," Spock corrected the young ensign. The nurse and the ensign broke down into a fit of giggles.

"Spock!" McCoy bellowed face aflame. Kirk fell out of his chair laughing. Spock raised an eyebrow at McCoy's unexpected outburst. Yes, this was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Well, a relationship at least.

* * *

**a/n- Ok, so like, at first I wasn't going to write smut, and then I was, and then I wasn't again. I just... I liked this much better without the smut. And I will get to work on AIEW... when I finish Star Trek TOS. I'm almost done, just started the third season. **

**I don't like the idea of two characters that normally bicker going all lovey dovey and mushy just because they're now in a relationship. I personally don't like it. Spock and Bones, would not go all mushy on each other cause that's just not them. So, anymore Spock/Bones I may or may not write will have the same feel as this. I did read this one drabble where Spock was kidnapped and Bones ran in and completely annihilated his captors. Which I found pretty awesome and I loved. But other than that I haven't found any S/B that I like. If anyone has any recommendations there I'd gladly accept ;3  
**


End file.
